This didn’t start with a goal, it was just cheaper than therapy. I wasn’t trying to build a platform or teach lessons or turn myself into some kind of expert, I have been humbled too many times to think I know shit. I was just writing. Dumping my thoughts onto paper before bed because I didn’t know what else to do with them. I’m still not even sure where this blog is going, or if it’s ever going anywhere at all. But it felt worth a shot. And sometimes that’s enough of a reason to start.

During my time in Miami, I earned a master’s degree in biochemistry and molecular biology through the University of Miami Leonard M. Miller School of Medicine, a world renowned big-dawg in science and medicine. I graduated with straight A’s and was awarded academic merit. I followed that up by getting into medical school at Auburn. Everything looked good on the outside. Success on paper. The kind of stuff people are supposed to be proud of. The top of society.

But inside, I felt like shit. Miserable. Empty. Unfulfilled. Like none of it actually mattered. I wanted time to stop so badly so I could just fucking sit and think. I kept assuming maybe the next milestone would fix that feeling. Maybe if I just kept pushing forward, eventually I’d feel like I had arrived. But that day never came. Because the truth is, happiness doesn’t come from accomplishments. You don’t achieve your way into peace. You build it. You take a hard look at what’s going on inside your own head and start doing the work.

My (beautiful) mom used to tell me, “Turn your pain into gain. Never waste your fucking pain.” That stuck with me. It still does. And that’s what this blog became. A place to do something with the pain instead of just carrying it around. I’m not a therapist. I’m not some guru with a perfect morning routine and all the answers. In fact, let me list SOME of the reasons I am not a guru. 

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• I’ve been ghosted by my own productivity apps.

• Drinks gas station coffee and calls it self-care.

• Doesn't even know what the fuck ashwagandha is.

• Will never trust people who do yoga (that shit is whack).

• I don’t wake up on purpose half the time.

• Can explain molecular pathways, can’t explain his emotions.

• I don’t own essential oils, (unless you count whiskey).

• Resents influencers with matching glass Tupperware. 

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I’m just a guy who got tired of pretending everything was fine when it wasn’t. And if you’re reading this because something inside you feels stuck or off or just plain tired, you’re not alone. This blog is real. It’s messy. It’s honest. But, isn't that just like the process of actually figuring your shit out?